Finding New Beginnings Amidst Life's Rough Patches

“Love visits us at any age and often quite unexpectedly.”

― Laura Frantz, A Heart Adrift

I hit a tough spot and felt quite lost. Since my wife and daughter and I parted ways, I’d been just going through the motions. Kerri and I separated on January 1, 2016. Things had been unstable for a while, but I was still taken aback when she came into my home office in late November 2015 and said she wanted a divorce. I suggested we try marriage counseling, hoping to hold things together until Madisen finished high school in 2019. She wasn't interested and told me I needed to find a new place to live by the start of the year. She did agree we could try a separation for six months. Then, she and Madisen went to Fort Smith for the holiday break with her family.

I found a rental in Del City for Koda and me. Since Kerri asked for a divorce, I hadn't bothered to cut my hair. By January 2017, my weight dropped from 250 pounds to 195 pounds. I was balancing work, taking care of Koda, and battling severe depression. It got so serious that I changed my life insurance beneficiary to Madisen, ensuring the policy had been active long enough to cover suicide.

In the nearly year and a half since my separation I hadn't shown interest in anyone or asked anyone out (Yes, I know, we had agreed on a six month separation. More on that in next week's post). At almost 62 years old and with four failed marriages behind me, I had concluded that my struggles with depression and anxiety made me too difficult to live with, and I would remain single for the rest of my life.

I discovered Del City had a dog park, so on May 1, 2017, I decided to check it out with Koda. Unexpectedly, I met a woman who really caught my eye. While chatting with an older man who had several dogs, I noticed Koda getting excited about a couple of dogs entering the park. He ran to the gate to greet them. Accompanying them was a beautiful young woman who immediately caught my attention and, for some reason, captured my heart. I soon learned she was married when she introduced herself and her husband who followed her into the dog park. Realizing she was married and thinking she was too young for me, I decided it was best not to consider asking her out.

After that, when I visited Del City Park, if I saw Michelle and her dogs at the dog park, I'd go in with Koda. If they weren't there, I'd take Koda for a walk on the nearby trail - I felt that Koda, being an Alpha dog who at 75 pounds would not back down if challenged by another Alpha dog, it was safer to not let him loose in the dog park. This trail took us through the woods and over a creek, ending just before an elementary school. It was a little over a mile for the round trip. If we also went the other way, passing under I-40 to a small park near the Del City library and fire station, it became a two-mile walk. Sometimes, when we returned from our walk, Michelle and her girls, often with her husband, would be at the dog park, and we'd join them then.

I kept my growing feelings for Michelle to myself for a couple of reasons. Firstly, Michelle was married. Secondly, I assumed she was too young to be interested in someone as old as me. I thought she was in her mid-thirties, which would make us about twenty-five years apart (I later discovered she was actually forty-six). Initially, her husband would often accompany her and their two dogs to the dog park. But over time, he started showing up less. Michelle, her husband when he was there, and I would chat while our dogs played. Since she was married, I just admired her quietly. I definitely didn't want to cause any trouble between them.

Everything changed on October 13 that year. You never really know what's happening in someone's life unless they let you in. On that Friday, yes, Friday the 13th, Koda and I were getting ready to hit the trail by the dog park. I got a message from Michelle asking if Koda and I were planning to walk the trail. I told her we were, and we had just arrived at the park. She asked if she could join us. My heart started racing. My mind warned me to be careful. She was married, and for all I knew, she might show up with her husband.

She arrived by herself. The first thing she said was that her brother had helped get her husband out of the house and she was going to file for divorce. She'd been trapped in a physically and mentally abusive relationship for years. I told her I had a feeling something like that might be happening. She asked how I knew. I explained that I grew up in an abusive home and could see the signs. I noticed she was losing weight, and I was concerned about how thin she'd become. She's five-two and looked like she barely weighed a hundred pounds. She always seemed tense when her husband was around. He barely acknowledged her but watched her closely. Whenever she and I talked, he'd glare at me with pure anger in his eyes.

About halfway up the trail, near the start of the wooded area, there's a park bench. On that beautiful October afternoon, we sat on that bench and talked for a long time. We let Koda off his leash, and he stayed close, exploring the pasture and trees around us while we conversed. Holding hands, we continued our walk. Before she left to go home, we shared our first kiss. It was electric, marking a new beginning for both of us.

Thank you for reading my blog. If you enjoyed it, please consider sharing it. I would love to hear your thoughts, as I appreciate knowing what my readers think about my writing and their suggestions for future posts. Next week, join Michelle and me as we continue our journey to break free from unhealthy relationships, with the hope of enjoying life's journey together.